A year ago, I was running a successful coaching business, coordinating Ohio CHADD, serving as President of ICF Columbus and VP of Communications for NAWBO Columbus. I was supporting my aging mom, helping my adult children navigate their lives, managing a household, and somehow keeping all the plates spinning.
From the outside, I looked like I had it all together.
On the inside, I was falling apart.
My sleep was a disaster. My health was declining. Friendships were slipping away because I never had time. My patience was nonexistent. I’d snap at the people I loved most over the smallest things. And the irony? I am an executive function coach—someone who literally helps other people manage their lives—and I couldn’t manage my own.
I kept thinking: “I just need to be more organized. More disciplined. More productive.”
But one day, as I was explaining the importance of self-care and boundaries to a client, I had a huge realization: I wasn’t following my own advice. Not even close.
I was wearing everyone else’s hats—my business’s hat, my mom’s caregiver hat, my kids’ supporter hat, my community leadership hat, my household manager hat. I was wearing a towering stack of hats, juggling them frantically, trying to keep them all from falling.
But there was one hat missing from that pile: mine.
The Hat That Changes Everything
That realization hit me like a freight train. As someone with lived experience of neurodivergent thinking, I understood executive function challenges intellectually. I knew the strategies. I taught them every day. But I’d somehow convinced myself that my needs didn’t matter as much as everyone else’s.
Sound familiar?
I started asking myself hard questions: When was the last time I did something just because it brought me joy? When did I last protect my energy instead of giving it all away? When did I last say no to something good so I could say yes to something essential?
I couldn’t remember.
That’s when the ME HAT framework crystallized—not as a coaching tool I developed for clients, but as a lifeline I desperately needed myself.
I was so struck by this realization that I actually had a physical ME hat made. Not as a gimmick, but as a tangible reminder that my needs matter too. That wearing my own hat isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Some days I wear it. Some days it sits on my desk as a visual cue. But it’s always there, reminding me of the one hat I can’t afford to forget.
The framework itself became clear:
Mind Energy – Managing my energy and rhythms
Establish Boundaries – Protecting my time and energy without guilt
Harness Strengths – Working with my brain, not against it
Attend to the Whole Self – Recognizing that everything affects everything
Take Time for What Lights You Up – Making joy non-negotiable, not a reward for productivity
The framework spelled out the one hat I wasn’t wearing: the ME HAT.
What Changed When I Put On My Own Hat
I started small. I blocked out non-negotiable time for sleep. I said no to a volunteer commitment that drained me. I scheduled a coffee date with a friend I’d been “too busy” for. I gave myself permission to work in ways that matched my brain’s natural rhythms instead of forcing a 9-to-5 structure that never fit.
The results were remarkable—not because I became superhuman, but because I became sustainable.
My health improved. My sleep regulated. My patience returned. My friendships deepened. And here’s the kicker: my business actually grew because I was showing up as my best self, not my most exhausted self.
But the biggest shift was this: I stopped feeling guilty about taking care of myself. I realized that wearing my own hat wasn’t selfish—it was the foundation for everything else I wanted to do.
Why Your Organization Needs This
Here’s what I know from working with hundreds of professionals: your teams are struggling with the exact same thing.
They’re brilliant, capable people wearing everyone else’s hats—their department’s hat, their family’s hat, their organization’s expectations, their industry’s standards. They’re managing ADHD, anxiety, aging parents, young children, health challenges, and executive function struggles while trying to meet productivity demands that assume they have unlimited capacity.
They’re burning out. And it’s costing you.
Not just in obvious ways like turnover and absenteeism, but in missed innovation, disengagement, miscommunication, and the quiet exodus of talented people who just can’t sustain the pace anymore.
But here’s what I’ve learned: when organizations help employees understand how to wear their own hats—how to work with their brains, manage their energy, establish boundaries, and bring their whole selves to work—everything changes.
Productivity increases because people aren’t running on empty. Retention improves because people feel valued as humans, not just resources. Innovation flourishes because people have the mental space to think creatively. Teams actually want to show up.
Introducing “Wear Your Own Hat”
That’s why I’m expanding beyond one-on-one coaching to launch my speaking and training brand: Wear Your Own Hat.
This work is deeply personal for me. I’ve lived the struggle of trying to be everything to everyone while losing myself in the process. I understand what it’s like to have a neurodivergent brain in environments designed for different wiring. And as a Professional Certified Coach and National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach, I’ve spent years translating these experiences into practical strategies that actually work.
Through keynotes, workshops, and my signature “In Their Shoes: An ADHD Simulation Experience,” I help organizations:
- Understand what executive function actually is and why it’s the missing piece in your productivity conversations
- Build genuine empathy for neurodivergent team members through experiential learning, not theoretical lectures
- Create brain-friendly systems and environments where everyone thrives—because here’s the thing: what helps neurodivergent brains helps all brains. These aren’t special accommodations; they’re simply smarter ways to work
- Support HR leaders in developing practices that benefit your entire workforce, not just a subset
- Equip managers to recognize burnout before it becomes crisis and communicate effectively with all different thinking styles
I don’t offer quick fixes or productivity hacks. I offer a fundamental shift in how we think about work, capacity, and what it means to perform at our best—for everyone on your team.
The Invitation
A year ago, I was drowning under a stack of everyone else’s hats. Today, I’m wearing my own—and helping others do the same.
If your organization is dealing with burnout, communication breakdowns, retention challenges, or untapped potential in your team members, let’s talk.
Because here’s what I know now: when people learn to wear their own hats, they don’t just become more productive. They become more creative, more engaged, more resilient, and more authentically themselves.
And that’s when organizations truly transform.
Ready to help your team start wearing their own hats?
[Let’s talk about bringing this work to your organization. Contact me to discuss keynote speaking, workshops, or the “In Their Shoes” ADHD simulation experience.]
